How much patience you have, for instance. – Leo BurkĢ5 – Becoming a mom to me means you have accepted that for the next 16 years you will have a sticky purse – Nia VandalosĢ6 – A perfect metaphor for parenting is trying to stand up in a hammock without spilling your wine.Ģ7 – The truth about parenting is, if you are going crazy, you are probably doing it right.Ģ8 – You can learn many things from your children. David FrostĢ0 – My kids will walk right past their father sitting on the couch and come bang on the shower door for me to open a fruit snack.Ģ1 – “So I stepped away for like two seconds…” – the beginning of every parenting horror story.Ģ2 – Having a two year old is like owning a blender that you don’t have the top for – Jerry SeinfeldĢ3 – Before becoming a parent I didn’t know I could ruin someone’s life by asking them to put pants on…Ģ4 – People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one. Anonymousġ7 – One day I’ll be thankful that my kid is strong willed but that will not be today, not in this grocery store.ġ8 – When I tell my kids I’ll do something in a minute, what I’m really saying is, “please forget.’ġ9 – Having one child makes you a parent having two, you are a referee. Lean in real close and whisper it’s much scarier.ġ6 –The easiest way to teach children the value of money is to borrow some from them. That’s parenting.ġ5 – Don’t yell at your kids.
And I’m going to take a nap when I get there.ġ1 – 90% of parenting is thinking about when you can lie down again.ġ2 – Parenting was much easier when I was raising my non-existent kid hypothetically.ġ3 – Parenthood – the scariest hood you’ll ever go through.ġ4 – Ever had a job where you had no experience, no training, you weren’t allowed to quit and people’s lives were at stake. Percy Frenchĩ – My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.ġ0 – People say “Go big or go home” as if going home were a bad thing. End Asnerħ – Motherhood – when 90% of your time is spent putting other people’s crap away.Ĩ – I have just returned from a children’s party. Martin MullĦ – Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare. – Ralph BusĤ – Those moments you hope your kid’s sass will help them lead a company and not a gang in prison.ĥ –Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.
Well played karma, well played.Ģ – The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children – Clarence Dayģ – Children really brighten up a household. They will make you laugh out loud and feel less alone in your quest to be a great parent.ġ – My kids are turning out just like me. I have compiled just for you seriously the top 100 funny parenting quotes that are oh so true. If this is you then you will absolutely love this post.
I know that parenting doesn’t always FEEL funny but there are definitely days when we would all benefit from a good laugh. If you’re looking for funny parenting quotes, you have definitely come to the right place!
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